Sister McKenna Watts - Chicago Illinois Mission: Week 37

Family comes first!

Hello my sweet Family & Friends. :)

I don't ever know what to say about this week, or even how to put it into words. It has been a crazy, emotional roller coaster this whole week.

In my interview last week with President Woodbury, he told me that because there are so many sisters going home in the next few transfers he is needing to close down some areas. He told me that he was seriously thinking about closing my area. As soon as we started talking about it my heart just sank. He asked how I felt things were going, how the people we are working with are doing, and if I felt like this was an area that could use a break for a little bit. I was honest with him in my responses and we talked about the work that was happening in our area. President was very kind about the work that I have done in this area. He told me that for some reason the whole time he has been here this area has just really struggled. He told me he puts his "strongest" missionaries here, and for some reason there isn't a whole lot happening. Despite his kind words I walked out of the interview feeling very sad. I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I walked out of the interview feeling that the area would close.

I was so worried. The only thing that could really describe what I was feeling is that I felt "heavy" I

Chicago version of the "Quatro Quatro"

felt a lot of weight on my shoulders. I knew that I was called to serve here in this area for a reason and I worried that I didn't find or fulfill that reason. I was racking my brain for things that we could have done differently, areas we could have been more diligent, or just things I could have done more. This is the Lords work and he is very generous in letting us help him, I felt like I had let Him, the Ward, and the people we are teaching down. When I got transferred here things were slow, and I had such high hopes and big goals for this area to progress and to find the people that needed the gospel and I felt like I had failed and hadn't measured up to everything that I had hoped for. I was discouraged.

I asked Elder Griffin for a blessing Monday night because I didn't want to feel what I was feeling anymore. I KNEW that those thoughts and feeling we're not coming from my Heavenly Father and I wanted them to leave. I was distracted by myself and I needed to forget myself and go to work. The blessing was so tender and exactly what I needed to hear. It was a powerful reminder to me that Heavenly Father was aware of me, he was proud of me and he was with me. Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us and the blessing helped me find faith in that plan again. I am so grateful for the blessing that I received. Thankfully Sister Golba-Ingles took notes during the blessing so I referred to it often throughout the week. It brought so much comfort and peace into my heart.

The rest of the week was really crazy. :) It was still very much like a roller coaster. Full of worries, fears and doubts but all along the way Heavenly Father was answering both of our prayers. We saw incredible miracles and had some special tender mercies. One of the most powerful miracles happened a few nights later. We went to the last appointment of the day, and they weren't home. It was around 7:45, it was late, totally dark, and now we didn't have anywhere to go. I had no idea where we needed to be. We said a prayer and then we picked a less active member of our Ward that neither of us knew, and we decided to go find her. :) we knocked on her door and the cutest little Korean lady opened the door and was very excited to see us. We sat down and talked with her for a little bit and had a really incredible discussion with her. Her name is H*****. She was born and raised in Korea and she joined the church when she was about 15 years old. She is the only member in her family. She is a returned missionary, she served in Korea. And she is just darling. We talked a lot about her conversion, her mission, and some other spiritually powerful moments she has had. We looked through her Korean scriptures, hymn books, and old lesson manuals. It was awesome. :) We had a great lesson with her and it was such a powerful tender mercy. I think my favorite part of the whole experience though was when she told us that her husband doesn't really love the church and he has a really hard time with people just coming and stopping by. I guess he is really shy, so when missionaries come and knock on their door it makes him feel really uncomfortable. Well, the night we went and stopped by he was on a one night business trip leaving H***** home and able to talk to us. It was incredible. In the blessing I received Elder Griffin told me not to be worried about where we needed to go, and that Heavenly Father would take care of it. That promise in my blessing was absolutely real. We didn't need to worry about where we needed to be, Heavenly Father knows. He knows us, He knows the people we are working with, and he knows where we need to be. We just need to trust his plan and follow it. :) That was a powerful experience for me that brought a lot of peace and comfort to me.

We had some really amazing experiences like that all week long, but still the worry of transfer calls was in the back of my mind. So much was weighing on this one call. I have never been more nervous for a transfer call my whole mission. I was so nervous because this call was so much bigger than I was and would have a huge effect on a lot of people. Well. Finally. :) Our phone started ringing. Ahhh. I thought my heart was going to pound out of my chest. Elder Foster congratulated Sister Golba-Ingles on her mission call and was super excited for her. :) Then the conversation shifted to me, I still can't even wrap my head around what he said next. He said "Sister Watts, you are being transferred to the Lake Shore 1st Ward, and you will,be finishing the training of sister Mkchesney." OH MY GOSH. :) I thought I was going to fall over. Let me tell you a little bit about why this is so stinking crazy. :) My area is right smack dab in the middle of the city, I will be living right in the heart of Chicago. The Lake shore Ward is as downtown as you possibly can go. I cover the loop and will be completely reliant on public transit. I still can't even believe it. :) It will be completely and totally opposite of everything I have experienced so far on my mission. Even in writing this right now I feel totally and completely shocked. There is a lot about this crazy call that feels intimidating to me, but I don't think I could be more excited. :) IM GOING TO THE CITY!! It is going to be such a blast, the area is beyond fun and my companion is incredible. I have met her once and I Was really really impressed with her. She is a visa waiter, she has been called somewhere in Poland I think? So she could possibly get her visa at any time and then she would leave? So who knows. Everything about this next transfer is going to be an adventure. :) It feels so crazy, but I am so excited. :) I can hardly wait. As for here in Gurnee they aren't closing the area, but they are white washing it with a companionship of Elders. It will be exciting and I am grateful that they will be here. :) I was so worried about it all week, but when Elder foster told me what was happening I felt total peace. I know that everything is working out exactly how it is supposed to and I have complete trust that the Elders are supposed to take over this area.

The last two days have been kind of crazy setting everything up for them so they can take over as smoothly as possible. It has been hard to say some goodbyes and to explain to people what is happening, but it will all work out ok. :)

The biggest tender mercy in the whole world happened last night. We have been so blessed to be working with a less active member who is just amazing. Some of my most powerful lessons have been with Kathryn and I just love her more than I even have words. She was the one person that I was concerned most about when we were told that the area might be closing. We have such a strong relationship with her and she has come so far. I didn't know how she would handle us leaving. Sister Golba-Ingles and I have prayed and prayed about it because it was something we were very concerned about. :) I want to tell you guys a little bit about the lesson and conversation we had last night with her. First a little bit of a back story, K****** was baptized about 20 years ago when she was in high school and was really active for about 7 years, she had some hard things happen and hasn't been active since. She has not allowed visiting teachers, home teachers, missionaries or anyone into her home for 13 years. Her heart has absolutely been softening over those years until sister boys and sister Lewis knocked on her door about 3 1/2 months ago. She let them in. :) It was right before sister Lewis was about to go home so K****** told sister Boyd "when you get your new companion,

K******, I love her!

I want you to bring her over here" I knew that K****** had told sister Boyd this but I didn't understand the magnitude of what that meant until last night. K****** told us about how for the past little bit she has been struggling and things have been hard, when the sisters knocked on her door again it was huge that she let them in. She told me that she knew that she needed to tell sister Boyd to bring me back over there because she knew that the next missionary was going to be special. She looked me right in the eyes last night and said "I knew that YOU were coming. I knew that YOU were going to help me. YOU were going to be the one that could bring me back. YOU were going to be the one that I needed. "I am the reason that YOU have been called to serve in this area. I am eternally grateful for what you have done for me over the past 3 months." I was absolutely speechless. She went on to say how she has been reading the Book of Mormon every day, praying every day, and is now ready to become actively engaged in the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is going to be perfectly fine without us here anymore. :) It was powerful. Every single feeling of inadequacy, doubt, fear, worry, guilt, left me in that instant. The heavy weight that I was feeling left. It was gone. All of my worries about her, the area, and my role in that were completely wiped away. It was a miracle. I felt complete and total comfort and peace and rest.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Heavenly Father cares. He loves us. He knows exactly where his missionaries need to be. He knows exactly what we need to hear. He knows exactly who we need to know and the people we need to come in contact with. He knows. He cares about each of us enough to place us on paths that we don't understand but that we need to be on. He knew that K******'s heart was ready, he knew that we were supposed to be here to help her, he knew that everything needed to work out exactly how it did. He loves us. :) This week has been hard, but it has been the biggest blessing and miracle in the whole world. I trust my Father in Heaven with everything that I am. I love him and I am grateful he is letting me serve him. :) I can't wait for this new adventure.

I love you all so much!!!

Love, Sister Watts